my truth

What are you? useless, why? Because I have no purpose? is that true? I don’t feel anything Niro hates me my friends no I’m not worth their time I have no friends in Malaysia I’m a slave to my aunt and uncle I’m a horrible brother I wont admit my worst actions and thoughts if I did I should be hanged I’m a pervert I’m a useless piece of shit that is undeniable I have constant headaches I do not know the cause I’m a lazy person I do not study enough I do not study daily I have not worked hard enough ii am bad with money I am bad with plans I am bad with maintaining social relationships I have difficulty making friends I’m a shy introvert I know I’m worthless I will never not be worthless I’m scared I will be a bad doctor I want to kill myself I think of it every day I do not kill myself because I know it is selfish my uncle has wasted to much money on me to not want to kill me that didn’t make sense I have no friends I have no friends I have no one who cares about me because I do not care about anyone people know I’m worthless people know I’m worthless I cant think anymore my bosses are going to tell me I’m worthless nurses will tell me I’m worthless colleagues will tell me I’m worthless I’m not depressed I think about people caring for me hugging me sympathizing with me because I want to feel loved but I know I don’t deserve all that I deserve to suffer and be in pain constantly because I’m someone who has done enough good in the world to deserve to feel loved and protected my tears are not real my sadness is not real I deserve to be mocked and humiliated to be set an example of so there will not follow my lonely and sad path of a life no one cares about the boy who has nothing to offer the world or at east nothing good